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When Your Partner’s Mood is Causing Problems

When Your Partner’s Mood is Causing Problems
Dr. Constance Odom, MD Picture of Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Medically reviewed by

Written by our editorial team.

Last Edited 6 min read

If your sex life has been in a rut lately, it’s time you took control and turned things around. All relationships go through rough patches, but facing them head-on can keep something minor from developing into a major crisis. Your sex life usually reflects the way things are going in your relationship, and if you are on pins and needles around your partner, chances are you have not been getting your needs satisfied or enjoyed the physical components of your relationship. Although it can be helpful to respect whatever issues your partner s dealing with, one bad mood is sure to have an influence on another’s. Its only natural to want to help, and here are a few ways you can try to pull your partner out of a funk.

1. Be Flexible

As you approach the situation, you need to remember that people react to the challenges and concerns they face in different ways. Some tend to shut down since they don’t know how to help the issue. Some may lash out thinking it will relive their own sense of guilt. Whatever the problem may be, your desire to help them might have good intentions, but it might not be what the situation requires. If this is the case, be prepared to adapt to whatever the situation calls for.

2. Keep Things Focused on Them

As obvious as it sounds, you might make the situation worse if you place an expectation on them that will satisfy you. Your partner may already feel guilty about what they are struggling to deal with, and saying things like, “come on and dazzle me with your smile” will only make it seem like there is an expectation that can’t be currently met. Do your best to keep yourself out of it.

3. Leave Them Alone

As hard as it may be if you see your partner struggling, sometimes it is best to just let them be. You might want to hug them and love away the pain, but that can have an opposite effect. People tend to want some space to deal with things, and crowding them can be irritating and invasive. Don’t smother them with questions or affection.

4. Divert Attention and Be Distracting

You don’t have to plan an elaborate party to help take their mind of things that are bothering them. You can take a walk around a park and go for a coffee. If you feel that your partner would respond to sexual arousal, perhaps an intimate evening complete with dinner, candles, mood music, and Scream Cream, will help distract your partner for a while. Studies on women's sexual health have shown that sex is a stress-reliever and can do wonders for boosting the levels of endorphins in the body. These are the feel-good hormones known to help boost your mood.

5. Be Thoughtful

You don’t have to tell your partner every five minutes that you are there to talk if they want too. You can find other ways to demonstrate how much you care for them without making it obvious. You could join them on the couch for their favorite show, share a gooey fudge brownie while making a joke about stress eating, or simply lay there and hold their hand. Find ways that will speak to them, and go about your day making sure to work those efforts in.

6. Send Positive Energy

Even though you can’t physically change how they are feeling or what they are dealing with, you can put yourself in a place where your positive energy level is high. You can write short notes full of encouragement or make a favorite meal that you know lifts their spirits. You can also go through and clean and declutter your house, making sure that their environment is sending positive vibes and isn’t subtly bringing more negative energy into the room.

7. Keep Your Good Mood

It can be very frustrating and lonely having to deal with a silent or moody partner, but you have to maintain your own high spirit. If you need to have a night out with your friends, then do so after making sure your partner will have everything they need at home. Don’t just rush out to dinner and leave your partner stranded with nothing. Take care of everything before, but then take the time to take care of your own mood.

8. Take Notes

If there is a pattern of moodiness, it might be helpful for you to keep a journal of things that might be triggering the episodes. Maybe it's the finances or workplace stress. You can also take notes on what seems to work the best in helping your partner and what things only make the situation worse. You will be prepared for the next time you encounter a change in your partner’s demeanor.


Relationships take work and compromise, and sometimes the amount of effort you have to put in doesn’t seem to be reciprocated. When you are working to help improve your partner’s mood, consider it a labor of love and think of how much stronger your relationship will be when the issue has been resolved.


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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your physician about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Nu Image Medical may not offer the medications or services mentioned in this article.