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What Men Want You to Know About Sex

<p>What Men Want You to Know About Sex</p>
Dr. Constance Odom, MD Picture of Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Medically reviewed by

Written by our editorial team.

Last Edited 6 min read

Looking to spice up your sex life? What if you knew exactly what your partner wanted in the bedroom? Look no further, as this is your guide to the juicy secrets men want you to know about sex.

1. Stroke Their Ego

Although this seems a bit counterintuitive, seeing as how men seem to have no problem with self-esteem and their libido suggests that they are masters in the bedroom, the truth is that many men are self-conscious with their performance. It’s not just women that struggle with their body, their weight, or their confidence. Men don’t often share their insecurities, but there are those who wonder if they will be able to get an erection and deliver the goods. They wonder if they will both please and satisfy their partner. You can help give him the confidence he needs with a little bit of well-timed and genuine praise. Don’t make something up if it isn’t true because you don’t want to encourage bad habits or anything unpleasant. However, use your body language or communicate verbally things that you like or appreciate about your partner's actions. If you compliment him both inside and out of the bedroom, it will strengthen the trust in the relationship, especially when it times to talk about more difficult sex subjects.

2. Don’t Push for Passion

While you man might be great at rocking your socks off in bed, he might struggle in the department of intimacy. This is fear for many men, but not because of the commonly associated expectation of commitment. Men can actually be quite passionate and romantic, but social repression or the stigma of a macho male plays a part in quenching outward expressions of passion and closeness. Men actually want intimacy but are often misguided or ignorant of how to achieve it. It can be easy for a woman to quickly to judge and criticize a lack of emotional connection, as women's sexual health is rooted in both emotional activities and comfort as it is the physical interaction. However, men are less willing to talk about connection or closeness because they may not know how to express what they need or what they want. Jumping straight into these deep areas right after a roll in the hay isn’t the best way to get your man to open up. Pushing for it when he isn’t ready is only going to make the situation more awkward and less productive.

3. Take the Lead

Some men like to take a break from leading the charge in good sex. This is where you can step up to the plate and give them what they want. This isn’t a power trip where you are stripping them of their abilities or making it about who can do it better. Men like to have good sex that you both enjoy, and men like to have their partners take the lead in bringing you both to satisfaction. It could be that you arrange for role play or acting out one of his fantasies, or it may be that you bring a product like Scream Cream to your experience. Increasing your own sense of pleasure and sensitivity to touch will further arouse him and stir up his desire. Watching you enjoy yourself is a huge stimulant to your partner, so taking the lead brings benefits to both of you. This could be the time where you introduce your partner to a new position or way to be touched where it doesn’t seem like it criticizes his prior performances.

4. Touch Him

Women seem to get all the attention when it comes to touching and foreplay, but men have a desire to be touched and fondled as well. There are many erogenous zones on your partner’s body, and you might need some 'sexploration' in order to find them. Men can be shy in communicating where or how they wanted to be touched. During foreplay or sex touch the chest or inner things, but a key move involves gently gripping and stimulating the testicles and perineum. By making the first move in these areas, your many may be willing to open up about his other desires. Make sure to never laugh or judge when he volunteers information about desire or fantasy, as it will quickly close down any opportunity for intimacy and further exploration.


Getting what you want from your sex life involves a compromise with what your partner wants. When communication barriers get in the way of expressing these needs or desires, it can give intercourse a boost by stepping out on your own and making the first move toward the other. These four areas are key secrets that will help you take that first step.


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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your physician about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Nu Image Medical may not offer the medications or services mentioned in this article.