Over the past few years, millennial perspectives, behaviors, and trends have dominated news cycles and social cultures. One of the more interesting areas of discussion is the millennial approach to sex, and many studies are reporting that this generation is having less sex than previous generations did during the age range of 24-35. Many theories and perspectives try to explain the reduced interest, with some of the more common assumptions including additions to smartphones, the widespread use of anti-depressants, the awkward situation of living at home longer, and increased stress levels. Not having sex doesn’t mean that millennials don’t think about intercourse, and when therapists work with those in the 20s and 30s, there are several common sex-related concerns that are brought up in sessions.
Concern #1: Stress and Anxiety
Though a cursory glance of a social media profile indicates millennials are really living it up, there a more grim reality to the overall situation. Millennials often struggle to find the career or job of their dreams, but facing strangling student loan debt has many working in positions that are stressful and overwhelming to make ends meet. The dating landscape has changed, with apps and matchmaking sites offering to solve relationship problems or loneliness, yet potentially, making it that much more confusing. The desire to be independent yet not having the finances to move on out one’s own or support a desired lifestyle has many struggling with their situation in life. These stressors zap the energy levels of millennials, leaving them too tired and worn down to worry about sex at the end of the day. On top of dealing with these stressors, many millennials are taking anti-depressants to treat the depression and anxiety that often follows prolonged stress. These medications can severely reduce libido and interest in sex.
Concern #2: Sex Education
With the internet making it easy to access just about any information you seek, it is hard to believe that millennials feel they weren’t properly informed about the whole sex thing. Many cite poor sex education curriculums, misinformation spread online, and an unrealistic expectation from watching porn as the reason they have so many questions about sex. A number of factors influence how much instruction an individual received about sex, with religion, school curriculum, parental choice, or cultural preferences often leaving gaps in the basic knowledge of understanding needs, desires, and normality. The porn industry has been an easy go-to for instruction for many millennials, yet this often establishes unrealistic expectations about performance, orgasm, and pleasure.
Concern #3: Performance Anxiety
Many millennials are concerned that their performance isn’t what it should be or it isn’t good enough for awesome sex. Access to porn has created an expectation that an orgasm will over-the-top and effortless. According to porn, satisfaction and pleasure are always supposed to exist in intercourse, and when it doesn’t happen in real life, millennials become anxious. This unfair pressure on themselves can actually make matters worse, with performance anxiety being a major concern in women's sexual health. Millennials need to focus on their own sexual needs and pleasure, rather than solely viewing sex for the benefit of their partner. If you do want to heighten orgasm experience, try using Scream Cream. This lubricant stimulates the female genitals and increases sensitivity to pleasure. Faking an orgasm or excitement is never a solution and millennials that struggle to feel satisfied need to know there are products that can help with performance and sensations.
Concern #4: Sex Drive
Due to the lack of sex education millennials received, many young adults aren’t sure how to handle the differences in sex drives. A mismatched libido is normal during different stages of love, as sex drives for individuals vary by age, medical conditions, circumstances, and relationship challenges. Most often, sex drives remain similar at a relationship begins, but they often wane after marriage or when a couple moves in together. One partner often ends up with less desire for the other, and millennials aren’t sure of how to handle the changes. Given that millennials are more comfortable communicating through technology, it is harder for them to address their partner or spouse over their relationship concerns and the lack of attention they’ve been receiving.
Concern #5: Body Image
Many millennials struggle with body image issues, having a lack of confidence in their appearance and hindering a desire for sex. This is more common in female clients, and the insecurities may restrict their sexual activities to certain lighting conditions, being slightly intoxicated, or only trying certain positions. Most often, body image insecurities keep females from enjoying sex as they are too worried about what they look like in the process.
At the end of the day, millennials have the same needs and desires in their sex lives as their older counterparts. It just takes more effort and a little bit of proactive attention.
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