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The Road to Desire: Who’s in the Driver’s Seat

<p>The Road to Desire: Who’s in the Driver’s Seat</p>
Dr. Constance Odom, MD Picture of Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Medically reviewed by

Written by our editorial team.

Last Edited 7 min read

When it comes to getting in the mood for sex, women get a bad rap for being too picky and demanding about the conditions. The stereotype that it takes a romantic dinner, caring gestures, flowers, or anything else that screams “I want you!” compares a woman’s sex drive to that of a man. And while men do have strong sex drives, it's not fair to blame women for needing and wanting more before jumping in bed.

If you consider the differences between male and female bodies, sex drive has more to do about the originating source of libido rather than the physical processes associated with sex. Men are usually able to get an erection from things that have nothing to do with intimacy, such as morning wood, as they call it, but this has nothing to do with their sex drive. Even though the research shows that men have a stronger sex drive, this is due to a more straightforward approach to sex. In comparison, women have a more complicated process of arousal, usually relying on the interconnectedness of emotional, physical, and even social or cultural arousal factors. Women's sexual health is more sensitive to things like context and environment. This doesn’t minimize how strong their desire may be, but relays how much control a woman might have over it if the conditions aren’t right.

Although individuals experience arousal and find satisfaction in sex differently, there are patterns common to the general population. Here are three of the norms researchers have found on the topic of sex drives.

1. Women’s Turn-ons are Complicated

When it comes to finding the perfect activity, words, or emotions to turn a woman on, the answer could be all over the board. At times, even the woman herself won’t know what it will take to get her desire flowing. In some areas, what their mind might accept as arousal tells a different story downstairs. Whereas men seem to be more specific and rigid about who or what can arouse them, who they would choose to have sex with, and ultimately who they want to fall in love with, women show less direction with their sex drives. Several studies trying to understand sex drive have found that women have more positive and fluid responses to homosexuality and reporting their sexual orientation as purely a matter of choice. Some are considering women to have more capacity to become sexually interested in either sex through a matter of choice, but they choose not to.

2. Women are Influence by Social Culture

When it comes to responding to arousal, the impact of social or cultural factors is easily seen. The attitude of women and their willingness to engage in certain sex acts often change of time, whereas men will stay fairly consistent. Those who attend church regularly or socialize with peers who are more reserved in their sexual expressions are less likely to more exploratory with sexual practices. Women are often more likely to demonstrate inconsistencies with their expression of values concerning intercourse, such as having premarital sex, but then altering their behavior. A women’s sex drive is susceptible to influence, and until recently, the thought was that the strong power men held in society made it more natural to oblige to sexual influence. However, the MeToo movement is starting to alter this mindset, and women are growing bolder in their control over their sexual lives.

3. Women’s Satisfaction is a Winding Road

The overall goal for both partners in intercourse is satisfaction, but males and females often arrive there differently. Women prefer to work from the top down, in that there is mental and emotional engagement anticipation that will ultimately lead to physical fulfillment. For women, the process should be about growing closer and being intimate, more than just connecting bodies in a moment of passion. When there isn’t that deep connection, women are also more open to using products like Scream Cream to hep achieve the physical sensations they need to feel satisfied, while men tend to rely on the physical act alone as satisfaction.  For women, it isn’t just a simple process to meet, greet, and let’s get busy. While men have the ability and often rely on flipping the switch for a good time, women have higher expectations of fulfillment that involve intimacy and physical sensations.


It is completely normal for sexual desire and performance to be different between genders, after all, they have different genetic makeup and body parts. However, these differences and the ability for one to be more sexually liberated than the other does not entitle one party to more satisfaction and pleasure over the other. Women, even if it takes a different approach to arousal and desire, should find their sexual encounters thrilling, satisfying, and worth the effort.



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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your physician about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Nu Image Medical may not offer the medications or services mentioned in this article.