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The Relationship Rut and How to Get Out of It

<p>The Relationship Rut and How to Get Out of It</p>
Dr. Constance Odom, MD Picture of Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Medically reviewed by

Written by our editorial team.

Last Edited 8 min read

Men aren’t often considered the emotional, romantic forces behind a relationship, but they certainly enjoy the benefits of secure and thriving relations. Spontaneous sex, a candlelit dinner at a table filled with favorites, a Marvel movie marathon and snuggle on the couch, or weekend at the beach are all easy to have in the newness of a relationship, but after time, everything that had kept the spark alive has faded into the background of your normal routine. As unappealing as it may sound to compare your relationship to your car, you have to think of them both the same way. Both your car (or truck or motorcycle) and your relationship fill major needs in your life. If you think about the routine of caring for your vehicle, whether it’s an oil change, new tires, putting in gas, or replacing sensors that have shorted out, you can apply the same principles of maintenance and investment to your relationship to make sure you are firing on all pistons and getting the most of it.

1. Replacing the Spark Plugs

One of the most important areas in an engine, although small in size, is the spark plugs. These little guys send the sparks that ignite the fuel and create the combustion within the engine. The end result is a vehicle that takes you to and from where you need to be. Although you shouldn’t get hung up on size, a man’s penis is one of the smaller parts of the body but with some of the most important functions. For men, the penis is a strong sign of men's sexual health, but it can also signal a lot more about general heart health. If you haven’t been able to get and sustain an erection, you might be suffering from a condition known as erectile dysfunction, or ED. This is more than just not feeling in the mood. There are many things that can contribute to the dysfunction that happens occasionally, but a persistent problem needs to be treated by a doctor and given a medication like Mt. Everest to help restore function. By focusing on what your bodily spark plug needs, you can help get the engine revving again and head down the road toward intimacy and satisfaction.

2. Changing the Oil

After a while, the oil in a car has seen enough use and has gathered bits of dirt and grime that can create sludge throughout the engine. Without an oil change, your car’s engine won’t operate as efficiently or last as long. The same can happen when you don’t change up what you are doing in your relationship. If your spouse or partner can predict what you are going to do whenever you’ve been are left in charge of date nights or you are buying a gift for a birthday or anniversary, you need an oil change in your relationship. Men and women alike like a healthy sense of excitement or mystery in a relationship, and creating anticipation about spending time together or a night in bed can ramp things up in your relationship. With so many sites online that can offer dating advice, discount coupons for nearby attractions, streaming services of new movies, or even just a list of things your partner might enjoy, there is no excuse for letting your relationship fall by the way. This is more than just relationship maintenance. Without new input and breaking bad habits, you are sending subtle messages that this relationship is your priority. That kind of signal hurts by the physical connection you and your partner share, but it will also damage the emotional connection between you. You need to find ways to creatively bring the energy and excitement back into your relationship.

3. Getting a Detail

Even if your car is running well, taking your car in for detail can really liven up the interior and put a sense of pride back in your ownership. Letting the car shine makes the drive seem so much more pleasant. Sometimes, you need to give your relationship a good detail. Even if you think things are running okay, peeling back the layers of your relationship and digging deep into what your partner means to you can bring a new level of intimacy to your life. It is normal for couples to experiences some bumps and challenges with communication or engagement, but rather than glossing over them and trying to simply move on, it is worth the investment to stop and uncover what is going on. If your sex life has had a sense of desire or intimacy missing, there could be some underlying psychological factors are getting in the way of your connection. If you aren’t comfortable speaking openly with your partner about the challenging areas in your relationship, use a couples counselor or therapist to work through problem areas or hang-ups.


Although you should treat your spouse or partner much better than your vehicle, your relationship needs maintenance just like your car does. If you don’t proactively work at your relationship, you will yourself stuck in a rut and not getting the fulfillment or satisfaction out of it that you desire.


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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your physician about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Nu Image Medical may not offer the medications or services mentioned in this article.