How to Handle Awkward Dates
Though the use of technology has seemed to make dating more accessible, getting to meet a potential match on an app is just the beginning of potentially endless awkward moments. From the debate over how to long wait before you respond to a message to wondering if you really should send that sexy pic, embarrassing and regrettable moments are the norm for couples that are just starting out and who have been married for decades. Awkward moments happen to everyone, but the way you handle them will either help you score another date or scare off what would have potentially been a good fit. Here are some of the most common awkward moments and how you should handle them.
You Call Your Date Your Ex’s Name
One of the worst things that can happen in a new relationship is referring to the person sitting across the table using your ex’s name. If it is someone who never knew it was your ex’s name, you could apologize profusely and casually mention you didn’t know what you were thinking or that you had temporarily forgotten their name. Even though it’s a good try, it doesn’t usually work. In these situations, the most sincere and regretful sounding apology might be able to salvage that rest of the date, especially if you have a lot more going for you than one Freudians slip.
You Have a Moment of Clumsiness
Face it, going on a date can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if it has been awhile. You may find your hands shaking as you reach for the wine glass, hopelessly spilling it on yourself or the white linen tablecloth at the fancy restaurant. You might walk into the door or trip over the curb. Allow your good-natured side to take over and laugh it off. Not a forced laugh that shows you are trying too hard, but a casual chuckle and shrug of the shoulders should do the trick. How you handle unexpected events that are beyond your control will speak volumes to your date about your overall personality and demeanor.
You Drink Too Much
The nerves might be easily calmed with a cocktail or a glass of wine, but you run the risk of more embarrassment later if you don’t watch how much you start drinking. Alcohol loosens the tongue, and you could easily find yourself taking the conversation in places that are definitely not going to score you a second or third date. Not only that, but too much drinking will impact important areas of women's sexual health. Though you might feel more relaxed, liquor or alcohol actually works as a depressant and reduces your sexual abilities. If you want to plan on a great finale to your date, have Scream Cream ready to put in hand rather than another cocktail. On a more serious note, drinking also lowers your awareness and ability to control your actions and responses. This could lead you to a more dangerous sexual situation where you aren’t engaging in sex on your own free will. Stick to just one glass of wine or cocktail to be in the best form.
You Have a Bad Manner Faux Pas
You may have the best manners 99% of the time, but there is that one night where you hiccup, slurp, burp, or have some other temporary moment of poor manners. As embarrassing as it may be, don’t ignore what just happened. Take responsibility and apologize. A polite “oh, excuse me” is fine. Your date knows your human, but you should also show you are equally good-manager and willing to own up to mistakes.
Your Date Has a Distracting Food Mishap
No one wants to call attention to the bit of butter on the side of the chin or the lettuce leaves between the teeth, but someone has to do it. Leaving it alone seems inconsiderate once your date heads to restrooms and suffers from embarrassment over how long it has been there. You can find a polite way of drawing subtle attention to it, saying something like “This food is delicious but it’s hard to contain on the spoon. By the way, there’s a small dab of something on your chin.” They may feel slightly embarrassed but it is will definitely be more short-lived than if you pretend it doesn’t exist and they find out later.
You Run Out of Conversation
On first dates, especially ones that aren’t going well, it can be difficult to find enough things to say to make it through dinner. Even if you know you won’t see each other again, be courteous in your conversation and make the evening more casual. Treat it like lunch with a coworker and stick to conversations about favorite restaurants, movies, music artists, or hobbies.
Awkward dates can make time drag on and on, making it an uncomfortable experience for both of you. Knowing how to get out of these unique situations can ease the tension and make the night more enjoyable.
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About the author
Dr. Constance Odom, MD
About
Constance Tambakis Odom, MD graduated in 1987 with her Doctorate of Medicine from the New York Medical College, and was an Anesthesiologist Resident from 1988 to 1991 at the Brookdale Medical Center PGY II (CA-I)-PGY IV (CA-III). She is Board Certified by the American Board of Anesthesiology since 1998 and American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine since 2002. Constance Odom, MD is affiliated with the American Medical Association, American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine, American Society of Anesthesiology, Georgia Society of Anesthesiology, Hellenic Medical Society of New York, North Carolina Society of Anesthesiology, and Society of Ambulatory Anesthesia.
Credentials
Medical Director At:
- Nu Image Medical
- MetroMedispa P.A.
Staff Anesthesiologist at:
- Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital in Dunn, NC
- Onslow Memorial Hospital in Jacksonville, NC
- Duplin General Hospital in Kenansville, NC
Director of Anesthesia Services at:
- Jacksonville Surgery Center in Jacksonville, NC