Addressing Your Relationship's Libido Imbalance

Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Medically reviewed by

Dr. Constance Odom, MD

Dr. Constance Odom, MD

About

Constance Tambakis Odom, MD graduated in 1987 with her Doctorate of Medicine from the New York Medical College, and was an Anesthesiologist Resident from 1988 to 1991 at the Brookdale Medical Center PGY II (CA-I)-PGY IV (CA-III). She is Board Certified by the American Board of Anesthesiology since 1998 and American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine since 2002. Constance Odom, MD is affiliated with the American Medical Association, American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine, American Society of Anesthesiology, Georgia Society of Anesthesiology, Hellenic Medical Society of New York, North Carolina Society of Anesthesiology, and Society of Ambulatory Anesthesia.

Credentials

Medical Director At:

• Nu Image Medical
• MetroMedispa P.A.

Staff Anesthesiologist at:

• Betsy Johnson Regional Hospital in Dunn, NC
• Onslow Memorial Hospital in Jacksonville, NC
• Duplin General Hospital in Kenansville, NC

Director of Anesthesia Services at:

• Jacksonville Surgery Center in Jacksonville, NC

Written by our editorial team.

Last Edited 4 years ago · 5 min read

Within any relationship, sex can be the tie that binds two lovers together. In spite of the important role that sex has for encouraging intimacy, it is estimated through at least one out of every three couples experiences a gap in sexual desire. In other words, one partner wants sex much more than the other. Though having an off-night here and there can be normal for many couples, couples that consistently struggle with libido imbalance often find themselves in sex therapy or seeking counseling to help figure out what’s wrong in the relationship.

A Sex-Starved Relationship

Even without realizing it, your lack of interest in sex could be impacting your relationship. You may not even realize why you have low libido, although it becomes more common as women age or go through hormonal changes. While you may need to seek professional care for a medical or psychological condition impacting your sex drive, there are several things you can do to start building up your relationship and getting back on solid footing with each other in the bedroom.

Prioritize Satisfaction

Even though you may not feel like you need sex to enjoy your partner and have a strong relationship, your partner may not feel the same way. Whether you are 22 or 62, you can still have a satisfying and robust sex life if you are willing to make it a priority. Intimacy, or the feelings of close connectedness you share, are often developed and encouraged through sex. Enjoying sex on a more consistent basis can help restore libido. You are only cheating yourself out of a good time and a meaningful relationship when you don’t get excited or engaged in fulfilling sex. Reflect on a time when you did find satisfaction in your sexual relationship, and remember your feelings, the butterflies, the warmth, and everything else about it that you enjoyed. Make it your mission to prioritize satisfaction again. If it means coming clean to your partner about your lack of interest but your desire to journey back to it, you will both find more fulfillment and intimacy as you can work on prioritizing your needs as a team.

Prioritize Your Partner

Even if you have had a valid reason for your disinterest in sex, your partner has probably suffered emotionally from the rejection. While you could try to convince him that it wasn’t intentional and that you can’t help it, your partner will need time to heal from any hurt or resentment that has built up. While you are working on you, be sure to proactively care about your partner’s feelings. In addition to openly discussing the issue with a sex therapist or counselor, you can demonstrate your interest in your partner and the relationship with intentional acts of attraction and desire. Start by openly flirting more. Take it back to the early days of your relationship where compliments, playfulness, suggestive looks, and touching or kissing were more commonplace. Remind your partner that they are attractive and wanted through flirting. Also, watch the way you respond to suggestions for sex or romance. A simple “no” might be the answer you want to give if it the relationship was all about you, but since there is someone else you need to consider, trying reframing the activity to be later in the day or take part in something that will bring pleasure to your partner even if you aren’t in the mood.

Prioritize Your Health

There may be medical reasons that underlie your lack of desire, and issues of women's sexual health shouldn’t be ignored. For some women, sex is painful and uncomfortable, creating a lack of desire out a necessity to protect yourself from potential discomfort. There could also be medications or physiological issues behind your low libido, and a trip to your gynecologist could help in uncovering these. If your low libido has affected your body’s ability to lubricate your sex organs and increase the rush of blood to the area for heightened sensitivity, you could try using Scream Cream when preparing for sex. Like many vaginal creams, it will lubricate all the right areas, but it also contains both prescription and non-prescription components that work as blood flow enhancers and vasodilators.

Prioritize Your Mental State

Getting back into the swing of sex takes addressing the emotional component of your relationship, the physical, and also the mental component. Practicing mindfulness during sex and in the moments of foreplay can bring your body and mind into harmony over the sensations and feelings that are present. Block out the stresses from work, aging parents, the children and concentrate on the moment. Encourage spontaneity with intercourse, freeing your mind from building up stress or anxiety over the moment.

Low libido can wreak havoc on your relationship when it is left unaddressed. There is nothing to be ashamed of, but do seek out treatment and find ways to restore your former sex drive.

Nu Image Medical® offers a new and futuristic approach to achieving optimal health and wellness. The company has been a weight loss, anti-aging and wellness provider since 2004 and offers medically supervised programs for medical weight loss, peptides, erectile dysfunction, scream cream, and hair loss (NuDew) 

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your physician about the risks and benefits of any treatment. Nu Image Medical may not offer the medications or services mentioned in this article.