As human beings, we're creatures of carnal pleasures. There's no way around the fact that sex is an important part of our lives. It's a great way to connect with your partner, release some stress, and show love and intimacy in a relationship.
But women of all ages and all walks of life are suffering across the world from a low sex drive, also known as low libido. Not only can this put a strain on the relationship, but it can also affect the way women see themselves and how they perceive their womanhood and sexuality.
Did you know that nearly half of all sexually active women between the ages of 30-50 years old, women who aren't in menopause, say that they deal with low libido?
If low libido is slowing you down in the bedroom, keep reading. We'll tell you how to increase libido naturally so you can start experiencing intimacy again.
What Causes Low Libido?
There are plenty of reasons why your libido might be lower than usual. Some of them are mental, some of them are physical, and some of them are medical.
On the medical side of things, if you deal with diabetes, thyroid problems, cancer, or heart issues, you could experience a decrease in your sex drive.
Also, sometimes medical problems like nerve damage and endometriosis can cause sex to be painful. Nothing ruins the mood quite like pain.
The medication you take can also lower your libido, so make sure you check the side effects of your medicine to see if that could be the culprit.
Things like fatigue, menopause, pregnancy, and breastfeeding can all change the way you feel about yourself, your body, and also your sexual lifestyle.
Psychological issues take a heavy toll on the mind and body when it comes to the desire to have sex as well. Anxiety and depression lower your desire to do anything, much less something as emotionally taxing as sex.
Stress, a poor body image, low self-esteem, and past trauma can play a part too.
Also, if you and your partner are experiencing relationship problems, you could have a harder time getting in the mood in the bedroom as well.
As you can see, sexuality and libido are complicated subjects and there are a lot of individual facets that you need to examine in order to understand what the problem is. The good news is: there's hope!
There Are Medical Treatments Available
There are a number of medical treatments out there that you can try. However, not all women respond to these treatments.
If you talk to a doctor about your low libido, they will look through your medical history and your medications to determine whether that could be the issue. And if you aren't taking medications that could have a bad reaction, they could prescribe you a medication that's approved for boosting libido.
There's also hormone therapy to consider. As our bodies age, they start to change. Hormone levels start to go out of whack.
But there are a few hormone therapy options out there if you want to increase your libido with medicine.
...But Start With Natural Ways to Increase Libido First
Now that we covered the medical side of things, let's talk about what you can do right now, on your own, to increase your libido.
When you attempt to boost your libido through natural means, you're giving your body the chance to heal and change without medical intervention or side effects.
There's also no shortage of things you can try! And as a huge bonus, all of these things will make you feel better in terms of your general health and well being as well, and who doesn't need that?
This is always the first piece of advice that anyone gives you when they're trying to help you change your life. It may sound cheesy, but there's a reason for it!
Exercise makes you feel good. After just five minutes of cardio, you could experience a shift in your mood. This is because your brain releases serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine when you get active!
These are the hormones that make you feel good and all it takes is a simple walk to get those juices flowing. It also lowers your stress levels, which is another reason why your sex life may not be where you want it to be.
It can also improve your immune system, lose weight, and feel better about yourself!
Watch What You Eat
When we feel good about ourselves and our bodies, we tend to take that feeling out with us into the world. The last thing you want to do in the middle of an intimate moment is question whether or not your partner finds you attractive.
The fact is that over time, our bodies change. Things shift and hang and bulge and wrinkle. And that's okay!
It's beautiful. Our changing bodies are amazing.
But when you don't feel good about you, you tend to project those feelings out onto others.
There's no better way to take control over the way we feel about our bodies than to monitor what we put into it.
Start eating with intention and mindfulness. Put healthy foods into your body that will fuel it and keep it going. When our bodies function better thanks to proper health and nutrition, we feel better about ourselves and can use that energy to improve the state of our intimacy.
Manage Your Stress Levels
When you're feeling stressed out, sex is the last thing on your mind. How can you feel sexy when you're worried about the bills or your parents' failing health or the leaky faucet under the sink?
As we mentioned before, exercise is a great way to deal with stress.
But beyond that, talk therapy is another way to give it a try. That's not to say that you need to rush out and find a therapist if that makes you uncomfortable. (It shouldn't therapy is great!)
But even something as simple as talking to a friend over coffee about the things that are bothering you can do wonders for releasing some of that stress and tension.
Talk to Your Partner
It doesn't matter if you've been with your partner for two weeks or fifty years, you have to learn to communicate with them. How can they know how you're feeling about your libido if you don't tell them?
If you're struggling in the bedroom, let them know.
If you feel contention because you're not getting help around the house, tell them.
You have to be able to communicate in order to fix things. And if you get the conversation started, you might be surprised where it goes. Our partners often have insightful ideas about how they can help you find your groove all over again.
Plan Your Intimacy
Nothing says sexy quite like calendars and cell-phone alarms, right?
While planning out your sex life might make it seem too clinical to some, you have to be able to make time for it all the same.
Even if you're not feeling in the mood, initiating sex is a great way to improve your libido. As a woman, it might take you longer get in the mood than your partner.
So plan a day and time to get busy and when the day comes, try to get into it. You might be surprised how much your body will react when the action gets started.
Change Things Up
It could also be that the thing your relationship is lacking at the moment is spice. Not everyone can have the same sexual situation play out over and over again and still be interested. And that's okay!
Talk to your partner about other things you can do in the bedroom (or maybe outside of it) to get you in the mood.
Maybe you need to try a different position. That could be a fun way to engage your partner as well! Even if things don't go perfect and one of you winds up falling over, learning to laugh it off in the bedroom is a great step towards comfort and intimacy.
There's also something to be said for roleplay if you and your partner are both equally into it. Pretending to meet at the bar and sneaking home for quick sex might just be the thing your brain needs to kick it into high gear.
No matter what you decide to do to change things up in the bedroom, it's important that both you and your partner are comfortable with it in order to ensure that it'll be successful.
That said, it doesn't even have to be something sexual that you try with your partner. Something as simple as picking up a new hobby together can help you reconnect and see them in a new light.
Cut the Crap Out
If you're a smoker or a heavy drinker, it's time to stop.
Not only are these things not good for your health, but they could be what's contributing to your low sex drive!
One glass of wine could be enough to get you into the mood, but more than that and you risk shooting yourself in the foot before you even get started.
The same can be said about cigarettes. They're not good for your body, and giving them up will lead to better health and more stamina in the bedroom.
Get Better Sleep
Sex isn't the only thing you should be getting enough of in bed. You need to make sure you're well rested, too.
Your body releases hormones based on a schedule that your body's internal clock determines. If you don't get enough sleep, your body's internal clock gets all messed up. If you're not sleeping well, how is your body supposed to know when to produce the hormones that boost your libido?
When you're tired, the last thing you want to do is have sex. So make sure you're catching enough Z's.
Get the Right Gear
Another thing that might be the cause behind your decreased desire to have sex is lubrication. When you get older, or when your body experiences trauma like radiation treatments, it can stop producing the lubricant that helps sex feel good.
Pick up a lubricant from the drugstore and use enough of it to make sure that you're not feeling excess friction or irritation.
Also, while we're on the subject of picking up extras for your sex life, why not consider adding a toy or two to the bedroom routine?
Take Care of You First!
This is a subject a lot of ladies don't want to talk about, but we all should get comfortable with.
You need to masturbate.
Yes, even when you might not feel like it. Yes, even if it might seem weird at first. Yes, even if you think it seems counter-intuitive?
Why would you want to waste what little sexual energy you have on doing it yourself? Because it's good for you!
It increases your blood flow, produces those nice endorphins, and it helps reduce stress.
Best of all? It's actually good for your sex life too. When you feel comfortable and confident giving pleasure to yourself, you're better equipped to show your partner how to please you too.
It can also help prevent your vagina from narrowing over time, which can cause painful sex.
So if you want to get yourself in the mood, dim the lights and take the time to explore every inch of your body! Take your time and don't focus on achieving an orgasm.
How to Increase Libido Naturally
We hope these tips for how to increase libido naturally have helped place the tools you need to get your sex life back on track in your hands. It can feel frustrating and even demeaning to notice a loss of sex drive, but you don't have to give in.
There are plenty of things that you can do on your own to help stimulate your libido.
But if you've tried all of these tips and still feel as though you need some extra help, read more about different hormone therapies that can give you the boost you need today.